Trivia Asylum - Dilbert Characters

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Admiral B'tang-B'tang - From the one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance. [4/25/08]
Al
- Promoted to Director, over Dilbert and Alice, because he has no valuable knowledge [11/13/94]
- Has worked for The Boss for six years as of [8/25/92]
Alan - His job in marketing is to spray perfume on skunks. Dilbert's job as an engineer is to resist killing Alan. [6/7/14]
Alan - Has been out of the workforce for a long time. Dilbert is to ease him back in, tells him that the company polices are in the cloud. [6/29/13]
Alan - A Frendor, he's not just a friend, and not just a vendor. He's something in between. [1/23/11]
Alan - Accompanied by Dilbert on a sales call. Alan cracked jokes and collected a hugh commission. [2/3/05]
Albert - 54 year old, experienced, guy that ran a marathon yesterday. [11/23+/06]
Alice - Female engineer in Dilbert's dept.
- Complains that Ted is a drama queen and working with him would just slow her down. [10/16+/09]
- Got Downsized ("Oog-Nah Wahgoo Yagga Bliphnow Elga Nooey Fip Wah!") and brought back. [12/19+/03]
- Sits in for the PHB. [9/28+/95]
- PHB rated her "Tyrannosaurus Rex" in the new performance review rating system. [2/25/95]
- Dresses like a man to protest the company's dress code. [2/2+/95]
- Has worked for The Boss for ten years as of [8/25/92]
- Had a baby by the Xerox Machine, named it "Butthead" after The Boss. [8/5/91]
- Brought her new baby to the office, Someone called it "Bug-Ugly". [5/20/89]
Allen - From Sales. Dilbert says his handshake feels like a wet sock full of macaroni and cheese. [1/17/13]
Allen - Dilbert needs an exit strategy to talk to Allen because he's a serial talker who strings together infinite, unrelated stories. [3/7/12]
Allen - Amorphous Cloud Of Gas, who exists as a subtle odor near the copier room. [8/10/08]
Allen - When the PHB cut the salary budget he became an end table. Hopes to get promoted to a credenza someday. [2/23/99]
Allen - PHB's new sycophant. [5/20+/98]
Allen - Telecommuting employee, was fired four years ago. [8/9+/02]
Allen - Stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions. (One of Dogbert's examples of people who have personality defects.) [12/12/93]
Amber - Dilbert invites her to celebrate New Year's Eve with him. [12/31/10]
Amber - Dilbert asked her to see a movie that one of them will undoubtedly hate. [12/10/10]
Amber - Dilbert offered to pay her $500 a month to be his friend on Facebook (a Frienditute). [12/1/10]
Amber - Was asked to lunch by Dilbert. She invited Bob along, then remembered her noon conference call. [5/9/10]
Amber Dextrous - The perfect employee, she can do two things at the same time. [7/2/06]
Andy - Was appointed Director Of Green because he screwed up being director of something else. [9/24/08]
Andy - Tall senior management member of the Technology Steering Committee. [3/22/06]
Angry Jack - Alice's new boyfriend. [9/28+/10]
Ann - Dilbert bet Ted that she could ignite a match by swearing at it. [11/5/98]
Anne - Gave up sleep, exercise and nutrition for intravenous coffee. [10/4/94]
Anne L. Retentive - Proofreader, catch phrase "My world is falling apart."
- Dilbert put her in a "comma" with a typo in his first draft [3/29/00]
- PHB taunts her with "I'm going to task you with a deliverable." [10/12/01]
Asok - Summer intern [3/18+/96]
- Died during a test of the Moon Shuttle Prototype. PHB saved his DNA in a jar. [12/7+/07]
- His job got outsourced back to India. [5/30/06]
- Graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. [10/30/05]
- PHB can't give him a raise because he's too young. [2/28/99]
- Makes sarcastic remarks to the PHB via speakerphone. [12/8/96]
- Alice threatens to launch Asok with the "Internapult". [8/23/96]
- Tells the PHB about people using entire colons where semicolons would do just fine. [8/20/96]
Antimatter Dilbert - Brought from an antimatter world by Dilbert using a particle accelerator. [6/30+/08]
Antina - A non-stereotypical woman created by request. [1/1+/96]
Aunt Helen - Dilbert's Aunt [10/11/90]
- Gave Dilbert a knitted elbow warmer, which Dilbert then gave to Dogbert. [10/11/90]
Avery Wong - A typo in the marketing forecast replaced his name with 'Everyone'. [2/9/04]
Awesome Bob - Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anybody else does. [12/30/11]

Bad Ed - A criminal elected leader of Dilbert's neighborhood crime watch group. [7/3+/89]
Barry - Has been working on the exoskeleton project for five years. He died years ago and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. [8/25/14]
Barry - Didn't have time to call any vendors but speculated about what might have happened if he had. [4/25/12]
Barry - Employee that got a special bonus check for working hundreds of hours of overtime. [3/31/96]
Becky/Bob - Coworkers that had a new baby and suffer lack of sleep. [7/31/02]
Ben - Very tall, fast-track manager, with executive style hair. [8/27/92]
Beth - The new Marketing Manager for Social Media. Thinks her first day, not so good. [9/13+/10]
Betty - Speaker at the Insane Chicks meeting, Topic: 'All the people who are intentionally hurting us.' [7/5/06]
Betty - Ordinary looking woman in marketing, Dilbert, Wally and Ted daydream about her. [5/25+/93]
Betty the Bulldozer - Always gets what she wants. Tells Asok to Drop everything and start doing her bidding. [6/24/06]
Beverly - Learns that rudeness and good time management are the same thing. [6/4/10]
Beverly - Generic job title given to everybody when flattening the organization. [1/5/94]
Big Boss - (Boss of The Boss) He was a geometry or geography major. [9/17+/91]
Big Ed - Large employee who bumps into Wally and Dilbert, refers to them as debris. [5/6/92]
Bill - Never follows through according to Alice. [9/10/06]
Bill - Dilbert must absorb Bill's project when he transfers. [6/20/04]
Bob - Was told in an interview by Dilbert that he was unqualified to work here. The PHB had already hired Bob, who missed a huge red flag. [12/21/15]
Bob - Was asked to lunch by Amber then she remembered her noon conference call. Bob and Dilbert had lunch. [5/9/10]
Bob - The unluckiest insurance agent. [12/20/06]
Bob - Is a moron according to Alice. [9/10/06]
Bob - A tennis shoe wearing dinosaur. (First appearance 7/18/89)

In Procurement, Bob needs the signed original contract to process Dilbert's order. Dilbert asks if that's because we're in the middle ages? [5/7/11]
As Director of Purchasing Bob sent Asok a box of pencils instead of a Ethernet switch. [11/25/10]
Dilbert calls him to deliver a wedgie to a speakerphone using co-worker. [9/22/96]
"King of the Wedgies"
Tells Dilbert that he's a vegetarian. [4/2/94]
Used a "Twirling Wedgie" on The Boss [6/7/93]
Dawn calls him "Robert". [7/21/89]
Bob's mate is Dawn, their son is named Rex. [7/19+/89]
Bob jokes about being a "Thesaurus" [7/20/89]

Bob - Wally was supposed to help Bob get the technical specifications together. [7/16/06]
Bob - Vice President of Marketing, leaving after 17 years. [3/3/06]
Bob - "Reverse Makeover Consultant" Straight eye for the queer-looking guy. [11/7/04]
Bob - "Single-Task Bob" can't help Alice and read his email at the same time. [6/1/03]
Bob - Dilbert asks secretary if Bob is in his office twenty feet away. [6/6/94]
Bob (a.k.a. "Strangler")

Prison inmate sent to live with Dilbert, after Dilbert wrote a letter complaining about prison over-crowding. Bob's prison uniform number is: 5496732. [7/2/89]

Bobby - Potential Stay-At-Home Husband for Alice. [6/10+/03]
Bobby McNewton - Child-star from the sixties, had a speaking part on "Leave it to Beaver", wrote a book titled: "Bobby McNewton's Cooking with Walnuts". [11/10/91]
Bobby Noober - Principal at Dilbert's High School. [10/24/91]
Bob Flabeau - Received the Lifetime Gullibility Award from Dogbert. [2/26/00]
Bob Weaselton - Full-Service Stockbroker visited by Dilbert. [9/22/02]
Boron - Comic character created by Dogbert that looks like Dilbert. [7/3/94]
The Boss - a.k.a. Pointy-Haired Boss. (First appearance, low hair, [7/31/89]

Wanted Dilbert to interview his nephew for a job. [2/11/01]
Started using voice-mail to provide a "Quality Thought of the Day". The first one, according to Webster's Dictionary is "Aardvark". [8/11/96]
Handed out T-Shirts that came in sizes "Small", "Petite", or "Elfin" [4/28/96]
Majored in Art History [4/14/96]
Thought the company should license Barney as their mascot. [5/7/95]
Title: "Director Of Product Enhancements" (DOPE) [7/14/95]
Sold "Cub Girl Cookies" for a nameless daughter. 0-4 boxes was the "Downsizer" volume, 5-8 boxes was "Low Performer", Dilbert signed Wally up for the 600 box "Fast Tracker" volume. Wally said he only ordered 12 boxes for "United Way Chairperson" level. [7/7/96]
Wearing his "Porto-Shredder" around the office. [4/29/92]
Hired famous business consultant "Tom Peters" to follow Dilbert around. [10/25/91]

Bottleneck Bill - Dilbert calls him a Bottleneck while waiting for his input. [11/5/03]

Bill's philosophy is that anything worth doing is worth delaying. [11/3+/04]

Brad - Dilbert says Brad's comments are cruel, Brad says it's male bonding. [9/29/91]

Brad is being unhelpful to Alice so she escalates it to his boss. [7/15/12]
Brad has a child named Becky.

Bradley - Founder of a smaller and more popular company. He's the angriest rich guy you'll ever meet. [10/11/11]
Bradley - Cousin, of an Elbonian trying to buy a potato, lives in Phlimsk. [9/15/08]
Bradley - Manager of Executive Compensation. Recommends buying the PHB a pony. [11/30/03]
Bradley - Accounting troll assigned to train Dilbert. [8/17/90]
Brenda - Female co-worker, brainwashed by the new company slogan: "Quality". [6/10/92]
Brenda Utthead - Female co-worker, whined about her email address being first initial plus last name. [8/19/00]
Brendan and Brandon - Twins that are helping with branding. It's worse when they bring Brad. [4/13/12]
Brent - Went to engineering, when Dilbert was on "rotational assignment" to marketing. [4/11/92]
Brian - Consultant fired by the PHB to save money. Was told to transfer his knowledge to Flossie. [6/3/01]
Bruce - PHB said the Bruce was totally incompetent at his job and moved him to another job. [12/25/07]
Bruce - PHB didn't have a cubicle for him, he got a section of carpet for his office. PHB gave him an electric shock dog collar to wear. [12/14/97]
Bruce - Got laid off. [11/20/91]
Bucky - The Project Manager, who gives Dilbert a painful and difficult project. [4/29/00]
Bud - Grouchy co-worker, to whom Dilbert introduced the new guy. [5/19/91]
Buff Bufferman - New coworker who tells Dilbert he goes rock climbing during blizzards for fun. [2/8/04]
Burt Nount - Started yesterday, Alice sneezed on him and warned the sneezes come in threes. [9/26/11]

Camping Carl - Suspender wearing co-worker who visits Dilbert's cube. Dilbert leaves through an escape tunnel. [1/12/96] [5/11/97]
Carl - Alice sees the blank stare of incompetence in him. Wally says: Never ask what. [12/24/15]
Carl - Wally's service monkey. Carl worked as a Starbuck Barista for eight years. [4/27+/12]
Carl - Made changes to the schedule. And the email about moving all of the Tuesday stuff to Thursdays. [4/10/12]
Carl - Dilbert did not want to have lunch with him. [8/29/10]
Carl - Ted will train Dilbert to take over Carl's function because Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function. [2/8/09]
Carl - Was told by Lead Developer Dilbert to keep up the bad work. [5/4/08]
Carl - Was fired because he was totally incompetent at everything he did. Had to train Dilbert to do his job before he left. [9/6/07]
Carl - Quit the company and was the only one who knew how to program the legacy system. [12/8/06]
Carl - a.k.a. KRUPHNEHDAHPHEWEUNDIKANISWALYNIAPHORGANOPOP from the Elbonian Call Center. [5/6/04]
Carl - Worked in the call center while studying for the priesthood. [2/18/01]
Carl - Turned into a jargon-spewing corporate zombie by Dogbert. [6/16/93]

Assigned a project similar to Dilbert. [10/25/95]

Carl - Temp. employee 'wasted' by Dilbert with his laser pointer pen. [9/22/93]
Carl - An Outside Contractor.
- Was told by Catbert that he was not allowed to breathe company air. [10/10/01]
- PHB asked him to Hover and not use company gravity. [10/11/01]
Carlos - The Diamond Smuggler.

Dogbert tried to sell his car when he got a job as a Used Car Salesman. [8/12/91]

Carol - Administrative assistant to the Boss. [2/2/92][10/2/95]

PHB considers Carol Family. Which Carol sees a lumping her in with a bunch of misfits, morons and drunks. [8/17/13]
PHB was going to introduce her as 'subordinate', she thought maybe Colleague, Associate or Teammate. [7/27/11]
Does an interesting experiment watching Dilbert's blood pressure when she takes a call and makes him wait. [8/8/10]
PHB wants her to form a TIGER Team to move the junk from the small conference room. [5/11/10]
PHB wants her to feel emotionally invested in the vision and mission of the company. Her only emotion is anger. [11/26/09]
PHB wanted to talk to Carol about her career goals. [10/8/09]
Made Director of First Impressions Pro Tem by the Pointy-Haired Boss. [1/3/05]
Brought her kids (Tess the yeller, and Smokey the Biter) to work because the day care was closed. [11/30/99]
Scheduled a celebration for the engineers who got patents for the tenth in the PHB's calendar. [2/2/97]
Told by The Boss to type out all his incoming voice mail, print out all his e-mail, and get him a sandwich from the cafeteria. She takes advantage of the reclusive boss to tell the engineers that the new dress code is "Bumblebee Costumes". [8/4/96]
Booked the PHB's flight to New York via third-world countries. [10/24/95]
Was supposed to put the "United Way" update between the two adgenda items. [10/2/95]
Makes suggestions on Dilbert's report. [2/2/92]

Mister Catbert - "Evil Director of Human Resources." (Hired by Dogbert) [3/20/95]
- Introduces the new patented "Head Cubicle" plan. [9/15/96]
Cheryl - The only one who knows the ordering system, and is on her honeymoon for two weeks. [8/24/02]
Cheryl - Dobert asks her out to lunch next week, but she already ate. [3/21/94]
Chuck - Reorg requesting manager. [10/30/95]
Chuck - Dilbert's old high school nemesis. [10/10/93]
Cliffy - Sales person wearing electroshock pants while trying to sell the Wireless Hassock product. [2/11/04]
Co-op Employee - Lasted one day, "didn't fit in". [2/14/96]
Co-op Employee - PHB puts him in charge of the "PTG Project" (Paper Towel Guy). [7/2/95]
Connie - Member of the Secret Society of Executive Secretaries. [5/18/04]
Cyrus the Virus - New Senior Vice President replaces employees with his old cronies. [5/20/02]

Dan - Big Stubborn Dumb Guy assigned to a team with Dilbert. [8/24+/99]
Dan - The Illogical Scientist. [12/22+/97]
Darryl - Turned feral because his only social life was meetings. [6/26/11]
Dave - Being transferred to Marketing, but there's no budget to train him. [1/3/93]

Gives Dilbert design requirements for the new product. [2/20/94]

Dave - Co-worker who was on the management fast-track program, until he started cutting his own hair. [5/22+/92]
Dawn - A three horned "Nobodysaurus", and Bob's mate. [7/19+/89] (First appearance 7/19/89)
Dawn - Woman attending Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration. [7/19/90]
Dee Alamo - A new engineer introduced to Dilbert who tried to remember his name with a word association memory trick. [11/18/89]
Dilbert - (First appearance 4/16/89)

Sent to Diversity Sensitivity training by the PHB. [5/31+/94]
Weighs 192 pounds at the grocery store. [10/26/89]
Lives on Walnut Avenue next to the Johnson's. [10/22/89]
Hyperlink to more Dilbert character trivia.

Disgruntled Doug - Assigned to work on the company pricing model. Has a laser printer box for a cubicle. [5/13/07]
Doctor Wolfington - Was fired for giving the PHB the creeps, "People with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called Doctor." [7/14/01]
Dogbert - (First appearance 4/16/89)

Scott Adams origially named him Dildog.
Hyperlink to more Dogbert character trivia.

Donald - Moron that the PHB assign to a project that involved being bitten by coyotes so that he'd quit instead of being fired. [10/8/98]
Dorie - Admin Assistant for a bald-headed boss "BHB?" [03/30/02]
Doug - Moved all the email servers to his ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. Nevermind the Transylbonian data vampires. [2/6/12]

Earl - Career criminal applying for a job with Dilbert's company. (also see Lefty) [12/04/05]
Ed - Alice describes him as the braggart with large pores and a combover. [1/30/12]
Ed - "Project Manager" (a.k.a. waiter) when Dilbert and his Mom have lunch. Dilbert's Mom tells her friends that Dilbert is a locksmith. [11/22/11]
Ed - Unreachable employee who doesn't answer his phone or return messages. Never in his cubicle and doesn't read email. [11/10/06]
Ed - From Sales, took Wally as secret weapon on his important sales call. [4/10/06]
Ed - Was looking disgruntled so Catbert put him in the Employee Rationalizer for 30 minutes. [12/6/05]
Ed - Received a Five Hundred dollar morale improvement award ($240 after taxes). [6/1/00]
Ed - PHB over-communicated "YOU'RE FIRED" to him. [1/27/00]
Ed - He's not very bright so he works long hours to compemsate. Dilbert and pals duct-tape him to his chair. [12/25/94]
- Announced that he gave his two-week notice. [4/13+/98]
Ed - From accounting.
- a.k.a. Demon/Troll of Heck, summonded by Phil. [12/9/93]
- Crosstrains Asok on the accounting system. [09/12+/01]
Eddie - A horse in a shirt and tie, stomps his hoof to help Dogbert rig bids. [9/18/09]
Eddy - Guy with baseball cap, mistakenly called "Frank" by Dilbert. [11/5/89]
Eddy - Stopped being angry at idiots by running Eddy's School of Anger Management. [7/21/09]
EdFred - The Two-Faced Employee. [6/8+/00]
Edna - Given a C-Level title of CPO (Chief People Officer). [11/21/09]
Edward Lester Mann - New guy without out a head. a.k.a. Ed Les Mann. [10/22/98]
Edna - Ugly female co-worker, with a cat named Boots. [8/4/91]
Eileen - Woman in meeting who wanted to "wing" Dilbert after he was told we "don't shoot the messenger." [2/4/90]
Ellen - Dilbert says she has no legitimate reason for attending a meeting. Either she's just nosey or it's a networking thing. [8/6/10]
Ellen - Dilbert's new project manager who will be on him like a ton of bricks if he does bad. [11/29/09]
Ellen - Unqualified and totally hot, Alice's new natural enemy. [9/26+/06]
Ellen - Was an hour late for a 7:00 date with Dilbert. [11/17/91]
Elrod - Friend of the PHB who likes to tinker. He made a car from a bathtub. [3/9/10]
Erin - Works for Sue Boysenberry, a great manager. [9/21/08]
Ernie - Is an "Unpackageable". He volunteered to leave but was forced to keep his job. [05/11/03]
"Exactly" Man - When people point out what he said was wrong he says "EXACTLY!!". [1/19+/01]

Flashy - Warm person who will be in the cubicle by the thermostat. [11/1+/05]
Floyd - Given a C-Level title of Chief Janitorial Officer in charge of all dirt, germs dead critters and problematic excretions. [11/20/09]
Floyd - Abusive, co-worker hating, Budget Manager, who choked on his own bile and died. [11/9+/92]
Flossie - Was supposed to get all knowledge transferred from Brian the consultant. [6/3/01]
Floyd - Became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space. [4/29/11]
Floyd Remora - Attaches himself to backs of other employees. [9/2/91]
Fred - An incompetent VP fired by Catbert. ("RE: Fred... Career Dead.") [3/4/01]
Fred - Marketing employeewanting Dilbert and Wally to do a technical feasibility study. [3/7/94]
Freshy Q - Rap star interviewed by Dogbert when he was an MTV reporter. [4/5/92]

Gabe - Was downsized when his last employer had financial troubles. PHB feels lucky to have hired him. [9/11/09]
Graybeard - Is only 52 but Asok was trying to get him to retire to get promoted. [7/11/09]
Gustav - Works with Dilbert to get the new product explained on the website. It's all images and annoying music. [2/6/11]
Gustav - "Stinkin' Mac User", ferreted out by Ratbert. [6/22/95]

Hammerhead Bob - Co-worker
- Learning ESP so he can start butting into people's private thoughts. [12/02+/05]
- Office "Know-It-All" and Buttinski. [8/16+/99]
Harold - Called 'Miss Pennington' by Ratbert the CEO, changed his name plus the surgery. [6/27/05]
Harry Middlepart - New guy with 1970's haircut, replacement for Peri Noid. [4/5/03]
Helen - (First mentioned 8/22/89)
- Keeper of the office supplies: Cheap Pens with Green Ink, Big Jars of Glue, and Ribbons for Obsolete Printers.) ['95]
- Agreed to date Les after he passed her calculation of the ratio of his earnings potential to his height and baldness. [8/30/91]
- Called Dilbert at home to say that they had never met, but not to even think about asking to date her. [8/22/89]
Helen Fry - Mrs. Fry is the new ombudsman because of her exprience in the afterlife. [2/16+/10]
Henry - The security guard trying to evolve into a new career, walks around yelling "TRY REBOOTING!". [3/21/10]
Holly Hollister - Member of Ad Agency's Creative Team. "I've got nothing." [1/15/01]
Humphrey - Ratbert tells him to be less pitchforkable, he's scaring all of their customers. [6/4+/09]

Incredulous Ed - No matter what questions\ you ask him, he'll react as if you're inventing words. [5/28+/01]
Irene - Works in accounting, Dilbert, Wally and Ted daydream about her. [5/25+/93]
Irene - Introduced to Dilbert, PHB thinks she has mood swings defect. [4/17/03]
Irv - Wrote the code for the accounting system back in the mid-eighties. [6/10/94]
Irv Klepfurd - Retiring from company after finishing his garage made entirely of pilfered paper clips. [7/19/90]
IXPU - Alien member of Dogbert's Illuminati group who vaporizes the whistle-blowers. [10/3/09]

Jack - Dilbert's date slips into an "old Boyfriend Coma" and mentions Jack. [12/26/93]
Janet - Large-nosed co-worker nicknamed "Toucan Sam", she snorted Norman up her nose. [2/16/92]
J.B. Hopper - He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had 17 jobs in 2 years. He's either passionate or has rage issues. [12/17+/12]
Jeff - Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. Unitl Alice said that he can't jump off the roof right now. [6/18/14]
Jeff - Assigned to Alice's project team. 'Like trying to put out a forest fire by dropping a baby on it. [1/25/14]
Jeff - The Human Ashtray. Announced as Dilbert's new boss. [3/26+/07]
Jennifer - Interview candidate for Engineering. [3/3/96]
Jenny - Is a food werewolf. When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. YA THINK? [10/19/11]
Jenny Dworkin - Dilbert plotted her normal speed, habits and tendencies into his computer in order to predict her location, in order to bump into her as if by chance. [10/13/89]
Jesus- Pronounced Hay-soos, Wally's new team leader. [3/8+/08]
Jim - The PHB tells him the company is family-friendly and very green. He'd sell Jim's kids for a handful of carbon credits. [1/3/11]
Jim - The Security Guard. Talking with him is as exhausting as going to the gym. [12/23/02]
Jimmy - Explains the new Marketing Stategy to appeal to sick people. [3/23/03]
Jittery Jeff - PHB brings him to Catbert for counseling. [5/20/01]
John Smith - New co-worker.
- Featured on "America's Most Wanted" for giving Wedgies to an entire town, one person at a time. [9/15/91]
Johnson - Co-worker.
- Slayed by The Boss with a dart when determining staff cuts. [11/19/91]
- Johnson's drug blood test results are: "Lives on Cheetos and Diet Pepsi, His wife doesn't love him, he likes to dress in grass skirts and make fun of the lawnmower." [6/10+/91]
- Asks a meaningless, rambling question after the staff meeting was over. [10/24/90]
Jose - In accounting was supposed to get Dilbert's liver when the PBH used him for spare parts. [3/17/94]
Juan Delegator - Gets others to do his work in the name of Teamwork. [7/28+/99]
Judy - Gets Attendance Award for Missing the Most Days. [11/8/99]

Karl - Habitual Liar, cured by pills Dilbert bought on the Internet. [3/30+/05]
Karl - One of the Magic Elves who tried to conquer the world. [12/30/91]
Karl - Job applicant interviewed by Dilbert using the standard engineering test. [2/14/93]
Kay and Clem Bovinski - Farm couple visted on "Dogbert's World of the Unexplained". [10/27/91]
Keith - The next coworker Alice targeted for elimination using a rumor campaign. [10/13/07]
Ken - Hired to teach employees how to be more creative. The title on his business card is 'Ideationista'. [10/7/11]
Ken - Almost reached his sales bonus level with time to spare. PHB: "That's the spirit stay hungry!". [10/24/10]
Ken - In Marketing, Alice's non-monetary compensation was to punch Ken as hard as she wants. [5/26/06]
Ken - a.k.a. Kenny the Sales Weasel. [4/21/96] [6/10+/97]
Kim - At her baby shower for having triplets, Dilbert gives her a Book on 'How to Lower My Carbon Footprint'. [8/23/10]
Kronos - The God of Management Time. He manipulates the PHB's perception of time. [2/24/02]
Kudos - New company (Teddy Bear) mascot, "The Bear-er of Good Morale!". [5/26/04]

Larry - Introduced to Dilbert by the PHB saying he wasn't terribly competent, but he's a good cultural fit. [9/29+/14]
Larry - The PHB wants Alice to collaborate with Larry. Which Alice thinks that means water down her brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. [6/8/13]
Larry - Dilbert says Larry is a sadist and a sociopath but he hides it when there's more than one witness. Don't turn your back! [5/20/12]
Larry - Wally was going to get the beta test results from him after reading about Larry 'In Memoriam' in the company Newsletter. [5/31/08]
Larry - A dinosaur. (First appearance 7/24/89)

Dinosaur that survived being hit by a meteor, and then became a first of a new breed called "Doctor-Billed Flattypuss". [7/24+/89]

Larry - An Accounting Troll that spits all over Dilbert and his paperwork. [10/24/01]
Lars - Introduced as a better version of Dilbert. If Dilbert were stylish and cool and fun to be with. [9/6/12]
Laura - From engineering, Dilbert, Wally and Ted daydream about her. [5/25+/93]
Lauren - Dilbert's cousin who has a degree in English. [12/17/04]
Laurie - New engineer that Dilbert was to show the ropes to. [8/7/94]
Lefty - Security person summonded by the PHB while interviewing Earl. [12/04/05]
Les - Pronounced "Lez", Short co-worker, Attempted to date Helen. [8/30/91]
Lisa - Woman that caused all of the problems with the company's projects this year. [2/15/04]
Lisa - Female co-worker.

Dilbert asked her out to dinner on Saturday night, she had to wash her hair. [3/23/94]
Dilbert said bad things about her in order to get promoted. [7/3/93]
Dilbert dated her, she broke the dating off with a rejection brick. [9/1/91]

Liz - Dilbert's sometime girlfriend, an engineer for a different company, she is an expert on composite materials.

Tells Dogbert he's cuter than cats. Pets him with fingernails. [11/25/94]
Tells Dilbert she finds him oddly appealing. [8/8/94]
She and Dilbert see their first 'shooting star' together. [7/25/94]
Third date with Dilbert, though 1st date only counted as 85% of a date. [7/2/94]
Has dinner and a walk with Dilbert. [6/24+/94]
Dilbert noticed she wasn't wearing a ring and asked her to go for a pizza after the soccer game. [6/18/94]

Logan - Dilbert wanted to know if his comprehension level was Human, Squirrel or Anvil before explaining the technical issue in terms he could understand. [3/16/10]
Lola - Lady Dilbert didn't want to share his cubicle with, it was okay once he saw her. [5/2/05]
Loopy - The woman who couldn't end a story. [4/17/05]
Lou - See Mister Serdecisions. [5/29/06]
Loud Howard - Wally threatened Dilbert that he would make Howard his cubicle neighbor unless Dilbert gave Wally his immortal soul, Wally settled for Dilbert's laser printer instead. [4/21/95]

Announces a shadowy guy from an unnamed government wants them to create a computer virus to attack Elbonian missle factories. [8/1/12]
Loud Howard meets Topper. Howard: "I did something stupid today!!!", Topper: "I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!!" [5/24/12]
Alice and Dilbert complaint that Loud Howard uses his speakerphone in his cubicle. [4/14/08]
Returns by popular demand and then announces the new REORG! [10/11+/06]

Lulu - Lady Alice needed input from for her stalled project. [7/8/00]
Lyin' John - Neglected to include the netowrk and server in his sale. [9/11/06]
Lying Larry - Ex-boyfriend of Dilbert's date. Dilbert scored a solid five compared to him, but only a two on the Smartphone scale. [5/25/11]

Mahoney - Employee tossed out the window by those who misinterpreted C.E.O. Dilbert's gesture. [11/7/91]
Mary - Told Wally his role would be transitioned. Wally mistakes the PHB for Mary in the hallway. [2/15/09]
Mary - Dated Dilbert after he had made 10 million in the stock market. [7/16/92]
- Watched "Gone With The Wind" in the ladies room with Alice. [7/31/92]
Matt the Temp - PHB needed him to wade out in the flooded parking lot to find downed power cables. [4/12/08]
Matt - On his first day Wally introduces himself with a 'blank' business card. [8/31/03]
Matt - Looks for the FAX machine, Wally sends him to the shredder instead. [8/15/94]
Matt - Speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics. His head can be outfitted with a reading stand. (One of Dogbert's examples of people who have personality defects.) [12/12/93]
Matt - Fresh out of engineering school. Dilbert is to be his mentor. [11/30+/93]
Medical Mel
- New cubicle neighbor that will be making loud personal phone calls all day. [3/13/02]
- His new nickname at the hospital is Bob - short for Shishkabob. [3/14/02]
Mel - Man attending Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration. [7/19/90]
Michael T. Suit - His friends call him M.T. He enhances core competencies by leveraging platforms. And compensates for a lack of substance by using buzzwords and attending meetings. [1/25+/02]
Mike - The Vegan. Couldn't eat at any of the fifty choices for lunch. [9/3+/03]
Millard Bullrush - Politician who went snorkeling and got killed by a sea turtle. [12/19/94]
- Dilbert's company is competing for the Millard Bullrush Quality Award. [12/19+/94]
Milt - Had to give up exercising and eating healthy food to get things done. [5/27/05]
Mindy - Wanted Dilbert to work all night to make a change to some software or she'd spread a rumor about him. [10/14+/06]
Ming - Web Mistress. [12/11/99]
- PHB moved the Web Mistress function to IS reporting to Mordac. [6/6/00]
Miss Cerberus - The Boss's Secretary who challenged Dilbert to bring her the head of Willy the Mail Boy. [4/29+/91]
Miss Mulput - a.k.a. Miss "MolePit", Dilbert's 4th grade teacher, she made him write "I will not be homely in class" 1,000 times on the chalk board for chewing gum. [7/19/92]
Miss Pennington - See 'Harold'.
Mr. Death
- Shows up at Dilbert's house looking for Gilbert. Dilbert finally makes him leave by telling him about his recent trip to the "Fresno Raisin Festival". [6/26+/89]
Mister Goodenrich - President of Dilbert's company. [7/25/93]
Mister Serdecisions - (a.k.a. Lou) Needed Dilbert to cover for him so he could put shelf paper in his kitchen cabinets. [5/29/06]
Mittens - Marketing lady's cat that provided "Exhaustive Customer Research" [PostCard#3]
Mo - A 'slow responder', Dilbert asked him for the X4HB reliability specs. [3/20/04]
Mom(bert)

Killed Dilbert's App dream, asked him if he ever thought of just using his first name like Madonna. [3/31/12]
Called the "Grey Fox", for being covered with dust. [12/15/91]
Dilbert bought her Amethyst earrings for her birthday. [8/89/89]

Monty - Signed up for Dogbert's Accelerated Evolution Training Program. [07/23+/01]
Mordac - The Refuser, The Preventer, Liason from Information Technology Dept.

Dilbert tells Mordac that in a few years his function will either be distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. [8/24/13]
Forbid Dilbert from using the shared color printer for rough drafts. Then removed the color printer because it was hardly ever used. [3/9/13]
Rejected Dilbert's business case because he used the old template. Has been living on Goldfish crackers. [9/3/12]
PHB asks Mordac to dial back the fire-wall or something because he's not getting his coupons. [5/23/11]
Tells Ted that the I.S. Group monitors every website he visits. And they came up with a list of nicknames for Ted. [5/3/11]
Told Dilbert it was time for his operating system upgrade. Dilbert complained that his CMS software won't work with the new system. [5/17/10]
Can't upgrade a computer because then it would be non-standard. ("Be gone, word-smith.") [5/8/10]
Says cloud computing is no good. Is called a Spock-Eared Sociopath by Dilbert. [11/19/09]
Forcibly relocates an employee to an agrarian society for exceeding her allocation for I.T. support. [12/24/08]
Made changes to the network and left for three weeks vacation. [12/13/07]
Tells Asok that only interns with weak memories need monitors. [1/22/01]
Denies Wally's request to add memory to his laptop. [9/3/99]
Sentences Dilbert to one week without e-mail. [10/3/99]
Makes Catbert's personal shredder a shared device, Catbert shreds him. [2/7/99]
Summons the Y2K Demon. [10/1/98]
Brings Dilbert new guidelines for passwords. [4/6+/98]
Denied Alice's Request For Services, though she said she didn't request any. [9/16+/97]
Ate Wally's request for a computer upgrade, Wally made 75 copies. [9/15/97]

Morgan - The man with no communication skills. [12/28+/09]
Mort - Dead guy in cubicle D-32. [11/6+/06]
Mother Nature - (First appearance 4/30/89)

Calls Dogbert a "Little Lard Bag", and zaps a Robin that was singing off-key. [5/24/92]
Drives ants up Dilberts pants. [10/20/91]
Threatens to send locusts to eat Dilbert's house. [4/30/89]

Motivation Fairy - Tries to make Wally enjoy working despite the utter futility. [1/9+/01]
Mr. Dork - Wrote an angry letter to Dogbert who apologized to all dorks who were offened. [5/30/94]
Mullah John Smith - Design guy working with Dilbert on a fleet of drones for retail package delivery. [1/28/14]
Mutobu the Impaler - Won the auction held by Dogbert for the brains of the company employees. [10/7/08]
Myron - PHB spelled his name "Moron" in a report. [7/18/98]

Nancy - Hired because of personal problems, including being in love with a medical school cadaver. [6/25+/07]
Nardo - Co-worker from the "Old Country". [12/20/91]
Neal Snow - Dilbert's new boss. [7/31/89]

When introduced to Dilbert as Mr. Snow, he extends his hand and says "Neal Please", so Dilbert kneels before him. When recounting the story to Dogbert later Dogbert says good thing he was not named "EatAChair". [7/31+/89]

Ned - Visited Dogbert's Password Recovery Service for Morons saying "I done forgot my password." [1/18/07]
Ned - Alice had to train him to do everything that she did. [2/7/04]
Nelson - Tina's new gay supervisor, who she gets to train. [1/19+/05]
Neo - Wally introduces him to martix management. If your computer dies during PowerPoint, your career dies in the real world. [6/11+/10]
Nervous Ed - Assigned to a special project by the PHB. [9/12/93]
Norma - A Mom that plays Scrabble with Dilbert's mom. Her son finished three projects last year to Dilbert's one project. [9/26+/02]
Norman - Janet accidentially snorted him up her nose. [2/16/92]

Old Johannsen - Kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge. Which he whispers to Wally before dying. [12/2/10]
Oobanoobah - Elonian Monkey God. If he does not accept your offering it becomes unclaimed property. [10/17/10]

Parrot Man - Takes everything Dilbert says and explains it back to him like he's a moron. [6/10/01]
Patty - The Amplifier And Distorter. Claims Dilbert is having an affair with a sales rep. [6/9+/06]
Paul - Catbert wanted to talk to him but was going to bat his head around and scratch him first. [3/20/95]
Paul Ooshen - (*say it fast) Gets his way via messy, smelly means. [12/22/02]
Paul Tergeist - He has a way with Technology. [2/21+/00]
Peeved Eve - Woman who acts peeved at any sort of question. [9/20+/02]
Peri Noid - New Team Member, asks Dilbert if he's "the undead." [4/1+/03]
Pete - Everything he says is creepy. Gives the PHB the number of his massage therapist, "Rubbin, Robin." [8/5/11]
Pete Peters - Member of Ad Agency's Creative Team. "Witty remark anyone?" [1/15/01]
Peter - Beatnik programmer promoted to management. [2/1+/93]
Petricia - Hired because of her experience being a Boss's pet. [11/3+/05]
Pigboy - Makes inappropriate comments every five minutes. [9/2/01]
Phil - Dilbert never returned his call, first person ducked in the office obstacle course. [1/19/97]
Phil from Heck - Carries a big spoon instead of a scary pitchfork. [12/9+/93] [6/12/98]
- Would put off a more menacing vibe if he didn't have leftover cereal in his pitchspoon. [11/3/14]
- Phil was asked to interpret Wally's accomplishements for this quarter. Phil recommended harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. [8/18/13]
- Came to Dilbert's cubicle on report of unauthorized happiness inside of a head. [12/3+/10]
- New Vice President of Marginally Legal Activities. Making user interfaces so confusing that people will pay for training. [3/21/09]
- Supreme Ruler of Heck. [6/2/96]
- Tries to get Dilbert to come to renounce engineering and become a manager. [1/19+/95]
- Brother of The PHB. [5/27+/96]
- The Prince of Insufficient Light. [5/3/89]
- Ruler of Heck. [5/3/89]
Phil de Cube - Wally's imaginary 'Frenchman' employee during empty cube adoption. [8/8/02]
Phil O'Dendron - New coworker that is a potted plant who sits in your cubicle why you try to work. [8/20/06]
PlywoodBoss - Assistant to RoboBoss. [6/13/02]
Pointy-Haired Carl - Nemesis of the PHB, manages the software division. [8/1/03]
Pointy-Haired Pete - Called by 'Cyrus the Virus' to replace the PHB. [5/20/02]
Proxis - Recruited by the PHB from the Gullible Nebula (300 year lifespan). [7/11/04]

Queen Bee of Marketing - Dilbert tries to capture her. [8/12+/99]

Raj - Greets the PHB in Helven. Tells him "You get a harp, but you won't like how we give it to you." [2/12/10]
Randy - The company got Randy by buying his start-up. Dilbert was to show him how to access the 45 hours of mandatory online training. [7/31/14]
Randy - Introduces himself to Dilbert who says he can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. [4/26+/14]
Randy - Asked by Dilbert to take over his nemesis role beacuse Dilbert's old nemesis retired. [3/24/12]
Randy - Relies more heavily on Morals and Values to solve problems. [1/14/01]
Randy - Frisbee playing kid that Dilbert whacked with his remote control airplane. [4/22+/92]
Ratbert
- Temp employee (cardboard box in hall for an office) [8/3/95]
- Becomes a Personal Digital Assistant (PDA) "State-of-the-Rat Technology" [11/6/95]
- As an intern he makes a suggestion in a meeting (an Idea Rat). [12/17/94]
- Follows Dogbert's book: "Unmarried Men Are Scum" with his own book: "Moles Are Morons". [10/1/92]
- Builds "Timmy the Toilet Paper Man" to be his only friend. [4/15/92]
- Disguises himself as a Chihuahua for a week. [7/15+/91]
- Lab Professor's nomenclature for Ratbert = XP-39C².
- Possible names before deciding on Ratbert were: "Mickey", "Rodney the Rodent", "Bill the Rat", Vernon the Vermin".
Ray - New Finance guy. He's got a face that makes you hate him automatically. [10/28+/94]
Rex - Dinosaur son of Bob and Dawn.
Richard - Dilbert's new boss who has an MBA from Harfurd University. [3/15/94]
Rick - Turned into a brick wall when Dilbert was explaining something to him. [10/31/03]
Robbie The Frightening Hobo - Motivational Speaker who mumbles hired by the PHB. [10/29/06]
Robert Roberts - Member of Ad Agency's Creative Team. [1/15/01]
RoboBoss - Brought in to handle the PHB's trivial tasks. [6/13/02]
Rocky - New C Programmer with a tail, introduced to Dilbert. [3/30/94]
Rodney - In charge of Product Safety Testing. Did that sound like 'Ship' to you. [8/21/10]
Ron - Too over-worked according to Alice. [9/10/06]
Ron The Sociopath - Uses speakerphone to annoy co-workers. Dated Alice. [7/18+/01]
Ron - Reporter asking Dogbert the Stock Market Expert a question. [10/17/01]
Ron - Dilbert's new Team Member, his name is Ron but everyone calls him Mo. [1/5/03]
Ronald - His Sexy-Flashy project was transferred to the PHB's department. He's in the limbo cube. [7/25/03]
Rubbin Robin - Pete's massage therapist, he doesn't have an address because he works out of a rusty van. [8/5/11]
Ruebert - Robot abandoned by Dilbert, brought to life by the garbage man, named by Dogbert, who then created a feminine robot that called him "Gomer". [2/10+/92]
Rufus T. Skwerrel - New CEO, his first job was Trailer Park Burglar. [9/9+/02]
Russell - Introduced as the WDG (Worthless Dumb Guy) for the project." [1/17/10]
Russell - Encounters "Secretary with a Crossbow." [11/22+/93]
Ruth - Asks Dilbert for his input. Dilbert tells the PHB that he did help Ruth but it's sort of a gray area." [1/30/11]

Sally - Has worked for The Boss for eight years. [8/25/92]
Sam Grooper - Ruthless Criminal whose wallet Dilbert and Dogbert found. [11/24/91]
Sandeep - Made photocopies for the PHB after Asok's job got outsourced back to India. [5/30/06]
Sarah - Attended the same network design meeting with Dilbert. Dilbert bought a box of the specific brand of makeup she likes. [12/25/11]
Scott - Dilbert had to check his acquaintance price chart to see how much to chip in for Scott's birthday present. Needed change for used gum. [6/8/12]
Scott - Dilbert declined to have any of Scott's birthday cake saying he preferred that it isn't frosted with the spit of recent candle-blowing. [6/8/10]
Scott - Was collecting money for his own birthday present, paper towels and cereal. [6/8/09]
Sharon
- Dilbert had a 'date' with her to grout her bathtub, in the past he has cleaned her rain gutters, painted her house, installed a sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine. [6/4/89]
Shelly - Her birthday is August 30th, Alice asked Dilbert for his randon stack of birthday cards. [8/30/08]
Silent Gary - Invited to meeting to help decide on a technology direction. Dilbert asks hi if he's actually a moron. [12/27/09]
Smokin' Jim - Coworker with a Nicotine Addiction, A Tiny Bladder, and Attention Deficit Disorder. [6/20/06]

Would be highly productive for an hour in the containment suit. [6/19/06]

Son-Of-A-Boss - Son of the Pointy-Haired Boss. - (Introduced 7/13/98)
- Introduced to Dilbert, hid in attic for four years instead of going to college [7/13/98]
- Dad (PHB) taught him everything he knows [7/14/98]
- Talked to Alice about product design [7/15/98]
- Promoted to Vice President of Marketing (due to his complete lack of knowledge) [7/16/98]
Sophie - One of the best engineers in the business. Was hired by Dilbert's company along with her incompetent husband. [12/12/99]
Sourpuss - Every office has one so the PHB hired one for Dilbert's office. [12/7+/05]
Stan - Asked for capital for testing handset radiation. Was told to find a less expensive way. [4/19/11]
Stan - From Marketing, Dilbert joked that he could alter Stan's DNA though the LAN. Stan started turning into a Weasel. [7/3+/95]
Stanky Bathurd - Monster that hired Dogbert to help rewite the tax code to be more frustrating. [4/6+/13]
Steve - Decorated Army Combat Veteran hired by the PHB. [9/5+/06]
Stinky Pete - Helps Alice out with a technical problem. [7/1+/06]
Sue Boysenberry - Is Erin's boss. [9/21/08]
Susan - Budget Analyst.
- Told her budget was useless and was fired by the PHB. [3/19/94]
- PHB asks her to make the budget cuts throughout his dept. [3/8/94]
Sven - Biggest customer from Elbonia. The first time you meet an Elbonian you kiss his mitten. [2/24/12]
Sven - Hired to design a product interface. Last job was as an international terrorist. Dilbert says "I hear you went to Yale." Sven replied, "I yust got out last week." [12/26+/94]

Techno-Bill - Gadget freak co-worker. [12/30+/92]
Technology Buddha - PHB tells Dilbert to take a document to him for enlightenment. When Dilbert gets to his office he is busy meditating about a huge bowl of Vanilla Ice Cream. [4/12/00]
Ted - Got fired for trash-talking Alice on Twitter over a promotion. [5/15/15]
Ted - Was confused with 'Fred' when he untimely passed away. It was like a week ago. [11/12/14]
Ted - PHB back slapped him and fired him when the PHB was acting CEO. [4/11/14]
Ted - Got stressed out and broke into pieces after the PHB wanted him to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. [2/26/14]
Ted - Was moved to a newly formed strategic engineering group. [1/6/14]
Ted - Was recognized by the PHB for writing his part of the code in just two days. Because it was hard. [10/27/13]
Ted - PHB used a Japanese management technique transferring Ted to a banishment room until he gets bored and quits. [8/9/13]
Ted - The merger made his job redundant. He used a good cardboard box to get his junk out. [12/11/12]
Ted - Put on a 90 day performance improvement plan. He always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan. [11/10/12]
Ted - Catbert asks Ted if he's seent he Tupac hologram video. Ted replies that Tupac is dead. Catbert claims that means economical. [6/21/12]
Ted - Alice congratulates Ted on his big promotion. She's not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Alice has not mastered the art of full-body lying. [11/9/11]
Ted - Dilbert proposes that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes Dilbert to do extra work. Ninja Economics! [10/09/11]
Ted - PHB tells Ted he can't give him a raise because he uses the company gym during working hours. [7/30/11]
Ted - Dilbert offended Tina by saying Ted did a great job, it implied the she was unimportant. [7/11/11]
Ted - Mordac tells Ted that the I.S. Group monitors every website he visits. And they came up with a list of nicknames for him. [5/3/11]
Ted - PHB tells Ted there is an app for him. "Waa-Waa! Don't Fire Me!". How awesome is that? [3/3/11]
Ted - Alice insults him in while talking to a girl that has been dating him for a month. [6/6/10]
Ted - His day turned out to be a little extra sucky when Alice volunteered to run a critical project and said "in your face, puppet boy!". [4/27/10]
Ted - It was his word against Wally's that he didn't get fired. [4/27/10]
Ted - Carol put the PHB's name in the fired employee box on Ted's termination documents. [2/3/10]
Ted - Alice tells the PHB that Ted a serial failer. [2/24/10]
Ted - Catbert transferred Ted to a job with a higher risk of industrial accidents, involves reaching over a vat of acid. [1/26/10]
Ted - Homeland Security ordered the PHB to beat him to death with the Emergency Preparedness Binder. [11/28/09]
Ted - Alice complains that Ted is a drama queen and working with him would just slow her down. [10/16+/09]
Ted - Gets new responsibility to keep the pigeons from defiling the ledges." [9/10/09]
Ted - Wally accuses him of stealing because the PHB can't find things on days Ted is in the building." [8/16/09]
Ted - PHB let him go offering constructive feedback "You're like a blister on a skunk's colon." [6/10/09]
Ted - The wrong size for the company after 14 years of loyal service in a fabric-covered box. [3/29/09]
Ted - Wally made a compelling case for bringing back free coffee and firing Ted. [3/22/09]
Ted - Ted will train Dilbert to take over Carl's function because Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function. [2/8/09]
Ted - Is the only one who knows about the timeline for deployment. And he's on vacation. [11/23/08]
Ted - Was told he could keep his job but it is being moved 50 miles away. How about 100? [10/30/08]
Ted - PHB asked him to do one more thing and his head exploded. [9/18/08]
Ted - Got promoted, has high cholesterol, Dilbert chipped in a dollar for a cake. [9/8/08]
Ted - Became and either-or situation with paper, and was Gossipsized by Catbert. [6/15+/08]
Ted - Eaten (Foop) by Admiral B'tang-B'tang from the one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance. [4/25/08]
Ted - Was let go because the PHB made a typo in his budget request. [8/31/07]
Ted - Eliminated his function and outsourced it to Dogbert Outsourcing Co. Ted was hired by Dogbert to do that job. [7/10/07]
Ted - So busy that his head exploded when the PHB gave him one more thing to do. [5/25/07]
Ted - Needs to work late every night and every weekend until they catch up. [5/19/07]
Ted - Died two weeks ago but his get well card was still being passed around. [3/5/07]
Ted - Was on vacation so Wally blamed him for things and took his office supplies. [3/4/07]
Ted - Given a T-shirt for his work on the Alpha Project "IDIOT" and fired. [10/6/06]
Ted - Asok told the PHB that Ted's project was floundering. [9/22+/06]
Ted - Is a liar according to Alice. [9/10/06]
Ted - PHB sent him on a team building exercise in the middle of the desert. [4/4/06]
Ted - Has his sandwich taken from the break room fridge by the PHB. [11/23/05]
Ted - Fired for saying negative things about the company in his blog. [10/04/05]
Ted - Suggests putting motion sensors on the lights in the break room. [10/16/04]
Ted - PHB hires an aggressive replacement to share his resources and make Ted quit. [2/21/04]
Ted - PHB tells him "You're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." [1/8/04]
Ted - Dibert emails the PHB about Ted being rude and unhelpful, PHB forwards it to Ted. [11/10/03]
Ted - Got downsized to pay for Management Retreat in Hawaii. [10/9/03]
Ted - Resigned, and Asok was assigned to find out where Ted hid his files. [3/1/00]
- Has thirty days to find a new job within the company. [10/31+/00]
- Carol scheduled his ten year service party for Tuesday, when he was having surgery. [8/12/00]
- Got a promotion to "Vice Duke and Imperial Majesty of all Engineering", but still could not have business cards. [8/2/00]
- Turned his hugh resignation manifesto into an Off-Broadway theatre production. [4/2/00]
Ted - Boyish looking co-worker. [4/13/98]
- Had 10 seconds to decide if he wanted to be "Restructured, Repurposed or Reassigned." [03/25/02]
- His mobster brother was killed, co-workers held a surprise party with Karaoke. [1/7+/98]
- Grew a "beard" to get promoTed to manager. [1/3+/96]
- Has a baby shower, and gets office supplies from Dilbert, Alice and Wally. [7/19+/95]
- Got a "Singular Achievement" award, a $1,000 check, for creating hte "We are Teams" campaign. [2/28/95]
- Is still working away as Dilbert, Alice and Wally are flicking their fingers. [11/24/94]
- Tells Dilbert he's working like a dog and starts scratching. [2/16/93]
- Tries to sell "Camp Girl Cookies" to Dilbert on behalf of his daughter. [8/23/92]
- Uses body language to discourage people from trying to make him work. [6/19/92]
- Wally asks Ted if he's nervous about the big layoffs coming. [12/5/91]
- Takes his vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days to avoid assignments. [10/31/91]
Ted Griffin - In Finance, Dilbert needed his signature on his business case for a Web server. [5/15/95]
Tex - Insulted Asok (thought he was a taxi driver) who made his head explode. [10/30/05]
Tim - Dilbert formed a snap judgement about Tim being flakey. [4/25/15]
Tim - Co-worker.
- Left the company to "Pursue Other Opportunities" [1/7/94]
- Worked for five days without sleep to finish a report, on the 4th day he was visited by an Incan Monkey God who told him what to write. He was promoted to Division Manager, and got an office with a door. [8/3+/92]
Tim - Was told about his promotion by the PHB, but the promotion was for Tom. [5/25/03]
Tim - Got a rejection letter from Dogbert the Publisher. [6/30/94]
Tim Zumph - Writer of the Famous memo of February Third, 1978. [3/1/93]
Timmy - Tried to buy an used car from Dogbert with his lawn mowing earnings. [8/14/91]
Tina - Technical Writer in Dilbert's Company. [8/28/95]
- Worte up the best ideas from the brainstorming session. A robot made of lunch meat was the top one on the list. [11/2/13]
- PHB wants Tina to take over the database anaylst job. He figures about 45 minutes to learn that. [7/26+/12]
- Claimed in a press release that the VP of Engineering is leaving do to 'Bieber Fever'. [6/4/11]
- Was put in charge of the move to the new building. This will take longer than a month. [2/16+/11]
- PHB gave his word he would lower the industry average pay to match her pay. [10/7/09]
- PHB told her she could not work at home anymore because the admins couldn't. [9/22/09]
- PHB decided to base her salary on the number of pages she writes. High volume, low quality. [11/27+/07]
- Rewrote the entire project scope instead of just documenting the project status. [11/16/06]
- Employee of the Month, for all the various work she does. [12/29/05]
- Had to write the Annual Report, used 'Enron Beelzebub' font. [10/10+/05]
- Got a new gay supervisor, that she had to train to be her boss. [1/19+/05]
- Got a "POOR" performance rating becaue the PHB couldn't open attachments. [3/25/01]
- Told Alice that she plans to marry a rich guy. [2/26/99]
- Wrote a draft of a manual with a chapter titled "Duh". [9/20/96]
- "The red-faced monkey of love" She wrote a steamy love e-mail to her new boyfriend Tom, and used the "Send-To-All" address. [8/5+/96]
- Assigned to the Department Newsletter project with Asok and Ratbert. [3/26+/96]
- Was asked to have the documentation written for a product that didn't exist yet. [8/28+/95]
Tina - Manager of the Sales department. [12/15/92]
Toby - World-Class Inventor the PHB hired. Toby used to work for a competitor until they fired him for stealing. [11/20/11]
Toby - Guy that was interviewed by Catbert who called him "Tubby". [1/3/99]
Todd - Laughs nervously at every one of his own comments. He must be relocated to a distant planet. (One of Dogbert's examples of people who have personality defects.) [12/12/93]
Tom - Given two weeks' notice by the PHB, Dilbert has to do his job until replaced. [1/31/06]
Tom Jackson - Had a meeting with the PHB but was written down as Gom Axfon. [4/26/09]
Too Helpful Guy - Offered to send Dilbert two truckloads of Parmesan cheese, gave him tickets for the "World-O-Cheese" exhibit in Wisconsin. [5/6/01]
Topper - "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." [1/1+/01]

Used Kung Fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. [1/10/15]
Paid off his mortgage by mining Bitcoins. Knew 'Wingless Skunk', 'Junkyard Snack' and 'Planned Injury' were the best search terms. [3/12+/14]
Talks about Apple's next phone being able to take pictures of your thoughts and being a time machine. [9/2/12]
Loud Howard meets Topper. Howard: "I did something stupid today!!!", Topper: "I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!!" [5/24/12]
Claims that exposure to his inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Better than the sun because he doesn't quit just because it's night. [4/25/11]
Paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take his house. [11/9/09]
His thighs are so strong he is afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead. [5/27/09]
Once passed a gallstone so big that it became Secretary of Labor in the Clinton administration. [5/8/09]
Had spider glands transplanted into his body so he can make his own silk garments. [5/7/09]
Discovered that his house is insulated with (grated) cheese. [5/6/09]
During the Crimean war, all he had to eat was the cold stench of death. He uses moisturizer. [1/3/09]
Donated all his organs to sick people and uses his hollow torso like a backpack with a family of squirrels. [12/23/08]
Died after not sleeping for a month, came back as a zombie but cured himself, took pictures of heaven. [6/1/08]
Claims to have strangled 900 insurgents with his bare hands. [11/13/06]
Carried over so much time they created a new month and named it Topperuary [4/22/06]
Topper broke his leg and hopped 40 miles to work. [12/12/05]
Topper vs. The Boss [8/19/05]
Topper versus Alice [8/18/05]
Topper vs. a Customer [8/17/05]
Topper versus The Feature Creep [8/16/05]

Toxic Tom - He complained about his last job all through his interview. [2/27/03]
Traylor - Blamed for the company's plunging productivity. Carol claims: "It's just allergies." [3/16/12]
Traylor - Carol's "infected" son who couldn't go to school, shook hands with the PHB. [4/2/04]
Traylor - Carol's daughter brought to the office the day Carol had to wear the dog costume. [3/26/06]
Trixie - Catbert's Lab Assistant who attached sensors to Dilbert's head to track his thoughts. [6/21/08]

Uncle Albert - Dilbert's uncle the famous Biologist.
- Won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemones [8/5+/96]
Uncle Max - Dilbert's uncle the Policeman.
- Dilbert uses regular paper, and not legal size to write him a letter. [10/18/89]
Uncle Ned (Dilbert's uncle the Hunter)
- Dog was named Rusty, his neighbors were Florence, Dave and Muffin the cat, he maintains the "Hall-o'-Postal Employees". [1/19/92]
Upholsterygeist
- Dilbert's chair and footstool become possessed by mischievous spirits, Dilbert drives them out by playing his "Jane Fonda Workout Tape" ("The Exercist!"). [5/24+/89]

Victor - PHB wants Dilbert to take over and finish Victor's project by Monday after he quits. [2/27/10]
Vijay - The World's Most Desperate (Worst) Venture Capitalist. [12/15+/05]

Wants Dilbert to focus on his poker face and not his optimistic hair when negotiating. [1/20/09]
His eyes went "Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching!" when Dogbert mentioned going into the solar panel business. [10/9/08]
Gave money to Dilbert when he started a company in his garage. [5/19/06]
Gave a hundred billion dollars to Dogbert to build an ocean city on barges. [4/27/06]

Virginia - Fills all quiet spots with inane chatter, paired with Allen. (One of Dogbert's examples of people who have personality defects.) [12/12/93]
Vlad - Came to company meeting to tell why it's so important to donate blood. He's not with the Red Cross. [12/28/06]

Waldo - One of the Cucumber Mutants created by Dogbert. [8/25/94]
Wally - Dilbert's colleague and fellow engineer.

Dogbert replaces his cubicle with a "Personal Habitat". [3/25/98]
Gets a mail-order bride from Elbonia. [1/6+/97]
Told Dogbert: Career Counselor that he was fired once, came back as a contract employee, and rehired at a higher salary. [8/15/96]
Told by The Boss that they don't do "Layoffs", but he was selected to participate in the "Mobility Pool". [8/13/96]
Was called "Weasel-Boy" by Dilbert. [8/8/96]
Kicked off the "Wally Compensation Equilibrium Project", to lower the quality of his work until it is consistent with his salary. [5/6/96]
Volunteered to coordinate the office move across town. Wants Dilbert to refer to him as "Lord Wally the Puppet Master." [4/20+/95]
Played "Buzzword Bingo" with Dilbert during a meeting [2/22/94]
Takes Dilbert's cubicle wall to make a roof for his cube. [2/19/93]
Turned his cubicle into a Revenue Generating Tourist Attraction called "Sticky-Note City". [12/24/91]

Walter - Recognized by the PHB for 5 years of service, had been there for 30 years. [08/11/03]
Wendel - Slaps Dilbert on the back, Dilbert thought he might have put a "Kick Me" sign on him. [10/28/90]
Wendel J. Stone IV - New Senior VP told Wally to lick the tar off his Porsche. [2/6/93
Wendy - Secretary whose cubicle Phil forced Dilbert to sit at after Dilbert made a mockery of the system. [9/11/94]
Will - Feral employee hired by the PHB. [07/20+/04]
Willy - The Mail Boy. [4/30/91]

Also a janitor. [3/28/92]

Wilt Gandhi - A product of Dogbert's genetic experiment combining the "Wisdom of Wilt Chamberlain, and the body of Gandhi". [5/27/92]
Wilson - Co-worker.

Turned into a clump of uninspired sod, after The Boss's talk. [6/21/91-F/23]
(recognized for working 24 days, but he had quit a month ago) [1/26/91]

Winston - Pug Dog belonging to one of Dilbert's co-workers who became a father. [3/29/92]
Wolfgang - A software genius, if not a legend. Others say that God speaks to him in UNIX. [5/16/10]
World's Smartest Garbage Man - (First appearance 12/5/89)
- Dilbert: "Why are you a garbage man?", WSGM: "Why are you an engineer?". [12/5+/89]
Wulf - Cat that used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and is both alive and dead. [6/6+/13]

Yergi - A doctor and inhabitant of Elbonia. [10/4/91]

Acts as Dogbert's trained monkey "Bobo" for a week. [9/20/92]

Yorgi - Elbonian that referred to Alice as a "Coffee Wench". [3/27/95]
Yugi - Elbonian that got kicked by Alice, she blamed it on a mud weasel. [3/11/98]
Yvonne - Hand-picked by Dilbert for his team.

Has sextuplets, her house burned down and had shoulder surgery. [9/21/06]
Her hotness gives her the power to make men do what she wants for nothing. [4/8/05]

Zenox - Replaced the PHB as manager of dept., introduced 'Winged Monkey' dress code. [3/4+/04]
Zimbu - Monkey co-worker. [12/2+/91] [8/9/93] [3/28+/94]

CEO's top aid. [7/30/94]

Zoltar - Graduate of Dogbert's Accelerated Evolution Training Program. [7/25/01]